Its November now. Isn’t that crazy? It’s sometimes surreal to think that I am a campus pastor 🙊. In one part of my mind I feel as if I am “just trying something new." In another part of my mind I feel like “I am just here to learn.” And then in the other part of my mind I'm saying, “Woah wait. I am a campus pastor. When these students see me they see me as a campus pastor!” Although I have the title of “apprentice” in front of this “campus pastor” title, I find myself asking, “Well what does that even mean to the young lady that asked me to be her mentor?" She is not concerned with whether I’m an apprentice or not, but she is concerned with being guided onto a path that is life giving and helpful. In this past month of October, it has been satisfying to marvel at how much God can do with so little. Despite my limited understanding and experience I am still able to minister to these students in ways that seem to be helpful. It’s pretty cool to witness and be a part of.
This past month of October I have been able to deepen my relationships with the girls in my small group (also known as core), my fellow apprentices, some staff members, as well as my understanding of different theological concepts. I can certainly feel the chasm between my knowledge and experience versus what all there is to grasp about God, creation, and people, but it’s been exciting and neat to have the opportunity to attempt understanding. Its been really special to see how the girls in my core seek each other out outside of our weekly Wednesday meeting. They are going to church together, eating together, studying together, picking each other up for things, and they even have inside jokes! We have emphasized over and over that core is a place for community to take place, so it is rewarding to see them actually showing up for each other and becoming real friends.
One of the more thought provoking things I have been thinking through is learning how to read the Bible critically. This has been such an engaging way to interact with scripture and leaves so much more room for the mysteries of God to be as real as they are. It’s easy for us humans, in our finite thinking, to try to boil God down to some simple formula, while completely missing the opportunity for God to show up in the might and power that is Him. Asking and thinking through the harder or more uncomfortable questions of scripture have provided me with much opportunity to seek, waiting with anticipation to find. It’s a much more dynamic way of being in relationship with God. It feels much better this way than just trying to figure out all the right answers to everything, like I desperately want to do sometimes. This approach of thinking through things and allowing God to be complex leaves me in my proper place of being fully human and Him in his rightful place of being fully God. While It can certainly be a more difficult reality to swallow, I am convinced that it’s THE reality…in spite of the many questions that I continue to have!
Whether I’m doing a midterm paper attempting to explain what the Old Testament is about, whether I’m doing a one on one Bible study trying to explain what sin is, or whether I’m trying to plan a talk on how promise keeping is the ultimate action of being like Christ, every angle is moving me into a greater awe and wonder of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
This is one of the most exciting chapters of my life thus far, and I would be remiss if I didn’t thank you, my crazy-stupid-generous donors for believing in the kingdom and believing in me. Y’all are truly so awesome and I am confident that God smiles on you for your kindness. Thank you thank you thank you for allowing me to invest in this apprenticeship!
Enjoy some pictures from October below!
