February Update

 Happy Black History Month and Happy Spring!

February and March have been some amazing and busy months. 

Enjoy the highlights below!

Did you know we had some crazy weather in the month of February here in Texas? In true Texas fashion, this snow came and went, and shortly after we were met with warmth and sunshine. But who doesnt love a  snow day?! Plus I got this really cute pic of me and my roomies dogs 😃

(from left to right: Maizy, Asa, Kenny, Neo...Kenny and Neo are mine 😻)

Neo, being a Bernedoodle (Bernese Mountain dog/poodle mix), was living his best life on his first snow day ever. He was very happy. 

They sat and stared out of this door for about an hour lol. 

Here are me and my fellow women apprentices for this year. We have been hanging out each month at someone's house and this was me and Renee's night to host! It was a fun time. 

MY BELOVED CORE!! This picture is special to me because its one of the first moments of our core hanging out for an extended amount of time outside of core! They so sweetly went on a walk together through campus and like the "corny mom" I can be sometimes, I just had to snap a picture and make a big deal out of it. I am always so moved by how God brings some of the most unlikely people together. 

Another picture of the girls in my core at our weekly campus gathering called Friday Night Fellowship or "FNF" for short. They are such a fun and funny group. 

Natalie and Issac, on the left, had us over for dinner and a sweet exchange of stories about our lives. 

This was my carpool group to our staff retreat. It was quite fun and really meaningful to have some solid hours to connect with my coworkers on the larger FOCUS staff not only on this car ride but the entire 4 days in general. From left to right that is Cole, Pedro, and Sirak. 

A group workout that we did that was actually very hard and left me sore for days. It was nice to do though to help all that brisket and pork move along 😳

What I loved so much about Staff Retreat were the talks that we had on humility, surrender, self control, sacrifice, and finally, silence and solitude. These talks are given by a fellow staff member followed by an open forum discussion/sharing of experience with these values from the more senior staff. For these talks to happen at this point in the school year were a game changer on my outlook on how to approach the rest of the school year and gave me a very helpful framework to think about my spirituality through. One of the talks that stood out to me the most was the one on humility. Our speaker used a resource called "The Freedom Of Self Forgetfulness"by Timothy Keller. To sum up the idea of what was discussed take this quote:

 "A superiority complex and an inferiority complex are basically the same. They are both results of being over inflated. The person with the superiority complex is overinflated and in danger of being deflated; the person with an inferiority complex is deflated already...deflated or in imminent danger of being deflated - it is all the same thing. And it makes the ego fragile."  

This was related to how we as children of God should "get out of the courtroom" because God is the judge, there is, no jury. We can stop living our life on trial in a court room where we are trying to prove our resumes to ourselves and to the nonexistent jury. The Reigning Judge calls us righteous when we are in his son, and the verdict is already in: we are priceless. By God's saving grace through Jesus Christ, we have already been approved of by the only One who matters. Therefore, we can walk out of the courtroom and live in such a way that doesn't think too highly or too lowly of ourselves, but that lives in a way that is true and pleasing to God. after all, he's the only one who really knows our motives! Therefore we can rest as his children and avoid either extreme of being overly inflated or too deflated because either view does not square with God's truth. 

 1 Corinthians 4:3-5 says 

"I care very little if I am judged by you or any human court. Indeed I do not even judge myself. My conscience is clear but the does not make me innocent. Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart..."

Some more views from our Campsite in Burnet, TX

Below you will find a link to this show we do every year called "Showcase" 

Showcase is an event comprised of the gifted performers in our community that showcase talents from singing, rapping, dancing, and comedy, along with an artisan market. Showcase is put on each year to raise money for our choice students to attend a week long conference in Bellingham WA called SICM (Student Institute of Campus Ministry). This conference is designed to helps us develop and train students into pastoral leaders that are equipped to reach out on our campuses. 100% of our sales go to our attending student’s expenses such as travel, housing, and food. 

The full cast on stage for the finale "Don't Stop Believing"

A snapshot of me and Renee dancing in an original piece called "Never Lost."

If you want to view this show you can visit 

anyfocus.org/showcase 

Please consider leaving a donation to help our students travel to Washington this May! Every amount helps!  (tickets were sold at $25)

Once again thank you all so much for investing in me this year. Praying that God would restore and replenish all that you have given!  

 

 

January Update!

If I could sum up the month of January in 1 word, it would be choice. In January I felt as if I was faced with the choice of whether or not I really buy into the the reality of the cost of what it means to follow Jesus.  How ironic considering that I have been serving as an apprentice campus pastor for the past 6 months. Over the Christmas break, our FOCUS staff read the book “The Jesus I Never Knew” by Philip Yancey, and it was this book that very disturbingly brought me face to face with confronting exactly what I had signed on for by calling Jesus lord. 

I was going to try to summarize the contents and purpose of this book on my own, but the back of the book does a much better, and fuller job at it, so I have included the description of it below: 

“…Philip Yancey’s award-winning book on the teachings, person, and life of Jesus Christ is a groundbreaking, disturbing, and exhilarating look at the Jesus described in the Gospels. Yancey writes: ‘The Jesus I got to know in writing this book is very different from the Jesus I learned about in Sunday school. In some ways more comforting; in some ways more terrifying.’ Now you can share in the same exciting breakthroughs as the author. This book will rock your preconceptions and challenge you with hard questions about why those of us who bear his name don’t do a better job of following him…”

I couldn’t agree more with the sentiments of “comforting” and “terrifying” after reading this book, hence my internal dilemma I mentioned earlier! While this book was a game changer for my understanding of Jesus and what his life meant for the world, it really shook me up with the reminder that when I followed Jesus I willfully relinquished a life of autonomy for a life of dependence on Him. And within this life of dependence on him, I voluntarily choose to adopt his world view. And adopting his world view means that I will allow the Holy Spirit to shape my heart and mind around God’s truth that,

“Blessed are the poor in spirit,

    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

4 

Blessed are those who mourn,

    for they will be comforted.

5 

Blessed are the meek,

    for they will inherit the earth.

6 

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,

    for they will be filled.

7 

Blessed are the merciful,

    for they will be shown mercy.

8 

Blessed are the pure in heart,

    for they will see God.

9 

Blessed are the peacemakers,

    for they will be called children of God.

10 

Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,

    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

11 “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you

Signing on for a life as a follower of Jesus, for me (and Im guessing would be or was for you), is signing on for a life that is way different from my childhood visions of what my adulthood was gonna be like. So I had to ask myself: “Do I really want this?…Am I truly committed to the depth of what I’ve just read that this means?” 

As I examined my heart and remembered again that I don't get to decide what is right, who's in or who's out, and that I don't get to pick and choose when I will take up my cross, I was filled with despondence, irritation, fear, and doubt. Surely the rest of that Sermon on the Mount was allegorical...right? Whether it was allegorical or literal, you cannot ignore the blaring, radical code of ethics that Jesus is daringly introducing. While my understanding of what it means to live out these truths is still en process, I am fully confident that following Jesus hasn't led me astray yet, so I chose him again 😃 (*wipes sweat off brow*). Though its challenging, I trust and have been shown in many ways that He is true life. 

Enjoy some photos below from Winter Camp! (The highlight of the month of January for FOCUS!)

Random: I got stuck in Vegas on my way back to Dallas from Christmas break in San Francisco. I got to go and see the Blue Man Group! They were incredible! Have you ever seen them before?

This is Ashlie. She's in my core. Fun fact about her is that she had only planned to come to Winter Camp on the first day and leave that same night.......SHE STAYED THE WHOLE TIME AND HAD A BLAST!!

Also, to explain Winter Camp: Winter Camp is a 4 day 3 night trip where all of the FOCUS members, and any other students who want to come, from every campus that FOCUS is at in the DFW come together and learn and hang out! We have indoor and outdoor games, but the highlight of winter camp are the speakers we bring in for the different talks that we have. this year we had seminary professor at Regent College, Rikk Watts, speak to us about why we can trust the Gospels, and why Jesus's life is/was such a big deal in ancient Greco-Roman society. It is our kick off to the next semester to help everyone reconnect after the holiday break as well as send people into the semester fired up about Jesus and ministry!

This is a game called Gaga Ball. Very user friendly, fast paced, and fun. The goal is to get people out by hitting them with the ball from the knee down using only your hands, so you can imagine that there was lots of jumping and sliding so that you didn't get out! Whoever is the last one in the ring wins!

Ashlie and Serenity after a long match of Gaga ball where Ashlie won! 

Me, Ashlie, Chasity, ans Serenity in our cabin!

Us at dinner! 

The infamous Winter Camp dance party! Everyone is doing the Cha Cha Slide here. 

Me and Cathryn's core on the oversized chair! You didn't do Winter Camp unless yogurt a photo on this chair. Shout out to our Admin Director, Paul Ueng, for the photo bomb! 

Serenity playing basketball with some of the kiddos.

This is a picture of our core at Target. On the surface it doesn't seem like the hugest deal, but this was the first time our core hung out together after our weekly meeting which was so special to me! Everyone really is becoming friends with each other and I am so glad! 

Thank you all so so much for reading my blogs and being interested in what all is happening on campus. I am blown away to have such a sweet team of supporters like you all.

How can I be praying for you? Please email me! 

See you soon with the next update! 

December Update

Hello fellow supporters! I can't believe its almost the end of January! December was a very busy month but just like that it came and went.

I struggled to write the blog for this month because I found myself feeling reluctant about the way I felt in December. With Christmas party planning and executing, Omicrion scares and cold symptoms, trying to catch up with the ever-busy-studying-for-finals girls in my cores, debriefing the semester's happenings and brainstorming happenings for the next, navigating personal relationships, and writing, rewriting, and preaching my sermon as well as listening to 18 others, I felt myself continuously pacing back and forth on the spectrum between rest and uneasiness. 

I had this constant feeling of knowing that the 2 week break was so close, but also knowing that it wasn't here yet, and that there were still so many things I needed to finish well. I remember feeling like "Yes! The break is here...just not quite yet." As I finished out the last two-ish weeks of the semester I couldn't help but think about the theological concept of the "already, but not yet" reality we live in as followers of Jesus. 

For those of you who are not familiar with what I mean when I say "already, but not yet," a brief summary of the concept is that as believers we are already living out the kingdom vision, but it has not yet fully come to fruition. We live and act out the values and ways of God's kingdom although his kingdom on Earth is still waiting to be fully realized. 

This previous semester showed me that, yes, Jesus is here and he is very much present in my life and all those involved this ministry, but everything is still in process. His presence with us doesn't mean that everything just falls into place, that things come at no cost, or that we will always feel happy-go-lucky and seemingly untouched by life (like I prefer!). But it does mean, simply, that He is with us. He's present in the event plannings and executions. He's present when our plans and relational needs get flipped around because of COVID. He's present in the gaps between the big deals that me and the girls in my core last discussed. He's present in the conflicts on my campus team. He's present in the pains and misunderstandings in my relationships. He is even present in the very circular, very disjointed process of my writing. 

Just the same way that he is present with me and the variety of my situations, so He is with you.  He is with us now and not fully yet, so lets be encouraged and expectant as we wait to see the fullness of His glory come on Earth as it is in heaven. The holidays are a busy time, filled with a a sometimes dense, mixed bag of emotions and realities for everyone. But God in his beauty and wisdom saw it fit not to clean up every single mess, keeping us sheltered, but instead chose to sit and walk through the messy mixed bag with us. Emmanuel, God with us. Yes things are still in process and incomplete, but we can take little exhales in remembrance that the best is yet to come. 

That is what I got to see and learn about God in the previous month.

Romans 8:18-27

18 I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. 19 For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. 20 For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it,in hope 21 that[a] the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decayand brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God.

22 We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. 23 Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? 25 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. 27 And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God

 Enjoy some highlights from December below!

                                                 

Being able to see a group of guys get up on the karaoke mic and sing a very off key "Baby Its Cold Outside" for the entertainment and benefit of others will be one of the things I remember always!  

My core (small group) minus 4! From left to right: Ashlie, Chasity, Arielle, Cathryn (my co-facilitator), Zaili and then me. We are missing Hannah, Serenity, Caroline, and Skyler! I think we made out for a cute picture 😁

A snap shot of the students listening in to our Christmas Homily

Our staff Christmas party. I don't have it in the picture, but we had it catered by Chiloso. IF YOU DONT KNOW YOU GOTTA FIND OUT!

This is a snapshot of our core sleepover! I have to admit that these homemade chicken enchiladas were def better than Chiloso! They were made by Arielle's (front left) mom, and I tell you they were to die for. 

And here we are with more Mexican food lol. Well...this was Tex-Mex. Anywho, we exchanged our usual Friday Night Fellowship for a night of fellowship at a restaurant called Rosa's for the few students who were still in town. 

Here are 2 more girls from my core that were missing in our Christmas Party photo a the top. This is Serenity (left) and Hannah (right). They came and popped up to watch the modern dance class that I teach every Tuesday night. It was such a sweet surprise! 

Here is a snapshot of me when I preached my 1st full length sermon. I was on the last day out of 4, and after hearing the stellar sermons that my colleagues presented, you can imagine how many drafts I wrote 🙀. It turned out well however. This sermon assignment was for us to write about what the Gospel means to us/what Jesus has done in our lives. The tag line of my sermon was "Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me." As a short summary I shared about how I have seen God pursue me trough my life despite the mess of a person I am, and I am saved by his grace. I know that I informed you all in my last blog post that I was going to share my sermon with you all at large, but I have changed my mind due to sensitive information that I no longer think I am comfortable sharing further. Please contact me with any questions or requests.

And last but not least here is a picture of my siblings and cousins on Christmas Day! From front to back, left to right: Chanel, Jazzmine, Joii, Aneesah, little cousin who's name I can't remember, another little cousin who's name I can't remember, me, another cousin who's name I can't remember, Darius, and Dominic. 

Thank you all for reading this and thank you for your willingness to pour into The Kingdom and my life the way that you have. I am so grateful for your support and prayers. Praying for a year where you taste see and feel that The Lord is with you.  

 

November Update!

It is now December. What?! I cannot believe how quickly time has flown from August to now. This past month of November was pretty steady with some fun stuff sprinkled in. Aside from the usual happenings of core, apprentice classes, and our weekly Friday night large group meeting, I have been able to travel a bit and get together with some friends and supporters that I don't get much time with admit my new schedule. Enjoy some pictures below to see what November was all about!

This photo is a snapshot of our weekly Friday night large group meeting. We call this meeting Friday Night Fellowship or "FNF" for short. We have a worship set, a sermon, and various hang outs after the service that we call "after events." I hosted a West African Dance class after event pictured below:   

Some of the "students" who took my class

This past November, I was also able to travel Marin, CA (a city right outside of my hometown San Francisco) to visit a friend and donor to watch her annual fall dance performance with her college dance program (Alonzo King Lines BFA). Unfortunately I didn't think to get any pictures from her show, but I was able to get pictures of the view from where we stayed! As you can see it was stunning! 

 

Pictured above is another good friend and donor, Rachel, who came along with us over the weekend. 

Straight from the flight back to Dallas from San Francisco, we headed to City Bridge Community  Church to FOCUS's deep dive lecture event called "Pizza Theology." Its called "Pizza Theology" because they order a bunch of pizzas for us that we all eat together on the break! The topic for this semester's Pizza Theo was "How to Think Like a Christian." This lecture series talked about what foundational thinking is, limited forms of Christian thought, the main spheres of modern thought, and how to use all of those categories to help us evaluate and reevaluate our thinking, in efforts to move it closer to the vision of truth that God has in mind. This is one of the many components of FOCUS that equips students with tools to be leaders and think.  

                                       

                             Me and some of my core girls at the end of Pizza Theo! 

The three photos above are from an outreach event that we put together! This was our "Everything's Bigger in Texas" event. We had giant bubble soccer, soccer darts human foosball, 9 square in the air, over sized Spike Ball, giant Jenga, giant Codenames, bracelet making, and a good ol country music playlist (which I was not a fan of lol, but it was for the sake of the Texas-ness of it). It was a good time! 

The three photos above are about the joint sermon that me and the 2 other apprentices preached on serving others. Their names are Taylor Bass (on the stage) and Michelle Doty (on the projector screen in the background). We were asked to work together to each deliver 1 point of a collective 3 point sermon. I spoke about 2 Corinthians 10:5 which states "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ." I spoke about how in order to be a Christ-like servant, we have to monitor and be proactive about our thought lives. Actions start off as thoughts, and if our thoughts aren't reflecting the character of Jesus then our actions likely won't!. It is pretty difficult to synthesize, and break down Biblical concepts at all, let alone into a 7 minute talk! Though it was challenging, it was a cool experience to write a sermon(ette). I have so much respect for anyone who preaches regularly! 

                                   

                                    I got to go on another trip later on this November! I am blessed 🙏 

                                                        Can you guess where?

                                                                    New York! 

We had gone there to go and visit an old coworker, Zion, from Dallas Black Dance Theatre who is with a new company in NY called Complexions! Unfortunately we didn't get to see him dance because the show got cancelled due to a COVID outbreak within the company. 😔😔😔😔😔.........So we got a refund and went to a broadway show instead!!!!!!! (pictured below)

Caroline or Change was INCREDIBLE!!!! THE SINGING?!?!?! IT WAS OUTSTANDING!!!         Would certainly recommend it if you ever find yourself in NY some time soon! 

Lastly, here is a picture of our Peer Team get together. Peer Team is the small group that the core facilitators (or corefas) go to. For your memory's sake, I am a corefa (aka small group leader).  If thats still confusing, you could think of it this way: everyone in this picture here is responsible for their own core (small group) just like I am. Peer Team is our team of peers who all lead small groups. Peer Team is the group that we meet in 2x/month for support, leadership skills and other tools on how to lead a small group. These are students who are apart of FOCUS that range from sophomore to senior/grad school, as well as staff members of FOCUS. This was a fun time to fellowship and share good news and share 1 takeaway of what we feel God has taught us. 

God is teaching me so many things through this apprenticeship as a whole, but 2 things in particular that I have been learning though leading a small group are that I have to be led by Jesus first if I am going to try to lead anyone else to him, and that my ideal timing for things is rarely ever God's timing.

This has been an eventful month, and I am so glad to be able to share it with you. Thank each of you so much for believing in me and the kingdom mission. I couldn't do any of this without your generous support! 

  

PSA: I will be preaching my first full length sermon this Friday December 17th at 10am. It will either be recorded or live streamed, and I will send an email blast with the details later this week!